How To Leave A Comment Using Opera Mini On The Blog

Have noticed people always have problems posting comments on blogs while using opera mini only I found out that it's a general problem from Google blog.
Okay, what's the solution?
- To make comments on Google Blogs using operamini, first you have to disable the "Extreme Savings Mode" on your opera, If you can't find "Extreme Savings Mode" on your operamini, it means you're using a very low version, upgrade or just use one of the other top browsers Iike PC, Google Chrome, safari etc
- If you're using other browsers on mobile devices like blackberry, Android, iPhones etc. which I'll recommend you use instead of opera, just read on.
Steps to make comments.
1. After reading the post, scroll to the comments box or click on "Add comment" or "Post comment" at the end of the post.
2. Choose the profile you want to use by clicking on "select profile" . I'll suggest you choose the Google profile, if you don't have, create one . But you can also comment with other accounts or even anonymous.
3. Type your comments and click on publish. If you didn't choose the Google profile, it may ask you for verification (that's why I advise you use the Google profile option, it's easier and you won't have to keep verifying always).
So for verification, it may require you to just click on the box.
Or it may require you to also verify using images which may sometime be tedious at first but would be easier as you keep making comments.
After you click verify, it would show you if your verification was successful. Then your comment would be published.
If you can't still make comments or the picture verification method is not displaying properly with other browsers (high mobile devices e.g blackberry, Android etc.), disable any "Data Savings Mode" and reload the page (Don't worry, you can always enable your "Data Savings Mode" after making the comment.
I hope u all get it and lets try it now.

posted from Bloggeroid

WORDS WITH WORMS

   Seventeen years old Ada told her boyfriend she doesn't like kissing so he is allowed to hold her waist or give her a light peck on her cheeks.

Everytime nineteen years old Ademola tries to whisper to his friends they refuse to listen telling him they aren't interested in listening to gossip. Rolade refused to drink the remaining water in Stella's bottle despite her cries about being extremely thirsty.

Now, Ada's boyfriend is good looking and down to earth. No girl can look at his pink and thick lips without imagining what it would feel like to have their own lips wrapped around it.
Ademola's friends are known to know the latest gist about everyone in their hostel. They were referred to as the G. Boys. G for Gossip.
Drinking from anyone's bottle is Rolade's bad habit. She never took water to school and always begged people to remain 'pure water ' for her.

The three reports above are treated unfairly because people want nothing to do with their mouth. The one thing they suffer in common is halitosis. In simple terms, bad breathe.

 One of the most embarrassing disease caused by bacterial growth in the mouth especially behind the tongue,in between the teeth and in the corners of the mouth. Often as a result of tooth decay caused by poor feeding, eating strongly flavoured foods such as onions and garlic, confectioneries addiction or smoking.

You might wonder why Ada, Ademola's friends and Rolade made up excuses to avoid the bad breathe from their neighbours instead of being honest about what they perceived but the fact is no one loves to be told that their words stink like they came from the depth of hell. Not everyone can handle the truth about being a patient of such disgusting disease so people find it hard to come out clean.

However, the sooner you tell your friends how unbearable the odour oozing out of their mouths, the sooner they can take actions and find a cure. It is definitely going to be hard to discuss such with a friend but you have to put aside your conscience and be as nice as you can be. Find a private place preferably, a four walled room where you are sure no one can eaves drop on you, break the news as gently as possible. Kindly abstain from badbreathe jokes and erase every trace of sarcasm in your tone because you could hurt your friends ego or worse, ruin your friendship.

However, if you are the friend suffering from halitosis, appreciate your friend's sincerity instead of denying the problem and fighting for your pride . True friendship is when you can talk to each other about just anything and if someone ever told me such, I wouldn't fight without confirming from a dentist if it is true or just some stupid joke.

The dentist knows that the care, cure and control of halitosis is good oral hygiene. Brush twice daily; in, out and the corners of the mouth. Stop smoking and drinking as those habits can be the culprit.

Always drink plenty water.

Replace toothbrush every three months for bristle efficiency.

Medium brushes are advisable.

There is a simple test to check whether or not you have bad breathe.
Curve both hand around your mouth and nostrils then blow air into the restriction you have created. Inhale the air immediately before it escapes. If the air you breathe in smells bad then you know you have to take the previously stated precautions and prescriptions to fight against halitosis in your life.

Now let's hope Ada's boyfriend gets a French kiss very soon and Ademola's friends begin to listen to his own side of the gossip. As for Rolade, let her take her own water to school.

Beggi beggi, e no good o.
Buy your own o, e go better.

posted from Bloggeroid

BEAUTY IS THE BRIEFCASE

  
@mccluretwins 
God gave to man several talents and with the Lord Jesus Christ's parable of the rich man,you can tell that talents are not given in the same amount.Therefore; while some people have only one or two,others are known to be bags of talent. From dancing to singing to acting to drawing and writing or even the ability to study,dig out cure to several diseases,argue and win even though they are wrong ,pass down knowledge to the younger generation and more. Of all, one gift which surpasses all is the gift of beauty.
  Beauty is one of the most appreciated attribute in society of all other qualities an individual can possses. Not only is beauty in the eye of the beholder like Margaret Wolfe Hungerford said in 1878, it is also in the mind of the beheld. Being a very visible trait in a person,pretty people don't only receive compliments everywhere they go,they see it for themselves almost everywhere too. Thank God for the  mirror on the bathroom wall, the long one on the dressing table,the wide one at the beauty salon,the glass counter at the shopping mall,the two way mirror at the bank,the sliding door at the hotel ,the tinted car windows at the parking lot ,the hand mirror in their make up purse even the pupils of people

How To Leave A Comment Using Opera Mini On The Blog

Have noticed people always have problems posting comments on blogs while using opera mini only I found out that it's a general problem from Google blog.

Okay, what's the solution?
- To make comments on Google Blogs using operamini, first you have to disable the "Extreme Savings Mode" on your opera, If you can't find "Extreme Savings Mode" on your operamini, it means you're using a very low version, upgrade or just use one of the other top browsers Iike PC, Google Chrome, safari etc
- If you're using other browsers on mobile devices like blackberry, Android, iPhones etc. which I'll recommend you use instead of opera, just read on.
Steps to make comments.
1. After reading the post, scroll to the comments box or click on "Add comment" or "Post comment" at the end of the post.
2. Choose the profile you want to use by clicking on "select profile" . I'll suggest you choose the Google profile, if you don't have, create one . But you can also comment with other accounts or even anonymous.
3. Type your comments and click on publish. If you didn't choose the Google profile, it may ask you for verification (that's why I advise you use the Google profile option, it's easier and you won't have to keep verifying always).
So for verification, it may require you to just click on the box.
Or it may require you to also verify using images which may sometime be tedious at first but would be easier as you keep making comments.
After you click verify, it would show you if your verification was successful. Then your comment would be published.
If you can't still make comments or the picture verification method is not displaying properly with other browsers (high mobile devices e.g blackberry, Android etc.), disable any "Data Savings Mode" and reload the page (Don't worry, you can always enable your "Data Savings Mode" after making the comment.

I hope u all get it and lets try it now.

posted from Bloggeroid

The heroic twins on my chest

Allow me to describe what i love in a woman.
Soft and juicy no matter what size. Covered in a skin so soft hands wish to carry. Male and female, young and old all appreciate its beauty and fluffiness even its short, thick and pointy cap is honoured by fingers even the flickering of a tongue.
Nothing can brighten your day more than its roundness , domineering presence and force of irresistible attraction . To glorify its beauty it comes in two ,increasing the pleasure of its succulence but no one can ever have enough of it. You thirst for more,more and...more.
It nutrifies not just the owner but its replica,the little tiny reproduction of a sweaty unprotected hot sex between two 'opposite' sex. Not just sucked but sometimes bitten when teething proceeds yet the woman endures and enjoys. Knowing the pleasure this gives, the mother forcefully stops the child from the habit of seeking the pleasure instead of feeding like her.
I once had a weird argument with my sister @_brownshuga. Who sucks it more? It's an obvious answer because the father always has the first hold of it ...ofcourse,in this century its rare to find  virgin married women so...

Be your own private slayer.

   Have you ever wondered why that rich lady who drives a range rover on your estate never slays? Or why that very cute friend of yours who's got wealthy parents never wears anything fancy?
  As odd as it may seem, style isnt measured by the number of cloths in your closet nor does the different names of designer tags they carry define your fashion sense.
   It is possible to purchase expensive wears from popular boutiques but lack sense of pattern arrangement and knowledge of colour agreement. I am not joan Rivers

Social Media ... Social Prison

Iam_salamat liked your picture
@morenike_xx commented on your picture 'so cute'
@slay_erin mentioned you in a comment "@frozenfirenaija bae you look...."
No other notification can make me as happy as the above makes me. I would joyfully open my Instagram to check the number of likes i have successfully acquired on my picture because even though my mirror tells me everyday how beautiful i am, it never convinced me as much as seeing more than a hundred likes on a picture. It gives me a degree of satisfaction knowing my Mary-K foundation, Classic concealer and hours of searching for the right edit didn't go to waste .
  You might go about saying there's more to like than social media, you can deny it to everyone that you don't fancy public attention but you can't decieve yourself. You know you would be happier than you are if you were social media famous and probably wouldn't be bothered by this recession. If you had has many followers as Taylor swift and social media fans as Wizkid, committing suicide would be the last thing on your mind or maybe not even on your mind at all.

  "See your hairy armpit, learn to shave sister!"

Mummy! I am bleeding!

                                        

 I remember vividly the first day I started my menstruation.
    I was home with my brother and a friend of his when I felt the moisture in between my thighs as if something was trickling down very slowly yet managed to stop just between the lines of my pants and the hairs of my pubic part. It was strange yet similar to the usual release of mucus which had started about a month before.
In frustration, I had dragged my lazy self away from the sitting room where the interesting gist was going on and went to the toilet to take a shower, pee or maybe poo.
  Anything to ease my self of the discomfort.
   I undressed, pulled down my panties and I almost yelled in disbelief, surprise and definitely  disgust at the sight before me. My pant was soaked with thick black blood and also had thick clots like red jellies or chewing gum. I pulled off the pant and threw it in the dustbin immediately then wiped my 'area' with a tissue.  The tissue came out with a lighter shade of red and I remembered my integrated science classes about puberty and tossed the tissue angrily into the dustbin.
I hated puberty immediately. Most of my friends hadn't started yet and I began to worry that would stare at me like a freak when I excused myself to the toilet holding a black nylon like the seniors did or when I would have to ask them to help me 'check' like my sister, @bumzie_shawty always did.
The blood was irritating and I took a shower then put on another pant, when that one got soaked, I tossed it in the dustbin again. I soon ran out of pants and when mum found out I had thrown them away even after she had thought me how to place a sanitary pad on the pant, she was furious but she taught me how to clean up the blood properly.
It's a very irritating procedure, come see.

DEAR DIARY

Concluding part two.

   Priscilla dumbed his black African behind but didn't block him off her social media as we suggested. She was stronger than we thought. I hadn't talked her into breaking up with him, i had talked her into realising she deserved better ...made her see the reasons why she didn't need a guy like him to mess up her mascara but to my surprise, she hadn't felt bad about herself or even cry for having to let go. She was glad she was pulling off the leach and was ready to move on like it was no man's business.
  From her account, everyone already knew their relationship wasn't going anywhere and it was a shameful thing to have other female friends tell her what Prince told them . Once one of them sent a screenshot of her chat with Prince,who continued to flirt with her denying his love for Priscillia. He even referred to her as 'the pest' .
    At that moment she knew she had lost him but couldn't get herself to admit that she had been played and humiliated . It was definitely going to be hard starting over with someone else or so she thought and decided to keep enduring until my motivational speech that touched the depths of her heart and made her make the right decision.
I remember her quoting C.S lewis "love is not an affectionate feeling but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." i had smiled when she said that . It was obvious she had studied to have the right words to fight for her. The student had surpassed the teacher and was ready to live by the truth.
   Love didn't have to come from a sexual relationship, it lied in the heart and the way you see yourself. Yes, we saw our selves as the best and were determined to become even better.     Tomorrow is going to be a big day for all of us . Priscilla is travelling to California to spend the rest of her vacation with her brother ,Fedel and Karmsi would be going back to school leaving Peace and I in each other's hands. We would be fine and i would finally call the number on the paper in my left hand and see if i could share my better half with someone who's worth it.

The end.

DEAR DIARY

Concluding part

Dear diary,
  If anyone had told me i'd have so much fun than i've ever had in my entire life in a month i would have disagreed because a month ago i had been suffering from antisocial personality disorder , refusing to chill with my best friend outside the four walls of my house or hers, unwilling to open the door of our friendship to new friends and allowing myself to be eaten up by trust issues and inability to feel free.
  Karmsi sure had no problem making new friends but with me,it was like i had a constraint holding my arms from embracing the thoughts of a new friendship even on group chats, i maintained my status as a ghost member and with the weird pictures and memes i used for my profile picture,there was no way anyone would be interested in me. I had no friend in school, no friend in church and even at home, Isaac was the only person i could call a friend even though he was more of 'that friend' than 'this friend'. You might think there is no difference but there is if you know what i am saying.
My new friends were the bomb! Beautiful, Fashionable,Fun-loving and Outgoing. Our fresh start was the best as we already knew everything we had to know about each other. I knew Priscilla dos and donts, Peace's hot temperament and they both knew how my palms get sweaty and my limbs go weak when i get to a place i haven't been before or meet someone i haven't met before. Rome wasn't built in a day, i was going to learn to set down my fear and focus on what was more important: Never letting anyone intimidate me again.
  We did hang out with Favour too and till now i still don't know if she is more of a foodie than Karmsi or if Karmsi is still the only one worthy of a ' World's greatest foodie' award, if such thing ever existed but i do know that while my best friend added weight over the summer, our numerous lunch,brunch and quick snacks at eateries had no effect on Favour's body weight. Only God knows where all the food went.  You might wonder what happened to Prince and as much as i hate to mention him ,it wouldn't kill to chip in a little gossip.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode eleven
   My faded smile bloomed again, bright and rosy as it was before the smirk she had planted on her face when she lifted her head from her phone. Her reply was a muscle relaxer. I had half expected something that would annoy me and irritate my ears,  something that would make me ask Karmsi to pull off her cap,throw it away and shove her phone down her throat.
  It did prove me right though, Favour had been listening to everything and her reply was an evidence that they had told her all that happened. The way people spread news . I wondered how many other people they had told in the name of having 'a hot gist'. Did i care? No, i had nothing to hide anymore and i could tell Favour liked me immediately.
   Priscilla and Peace were still laughing at Favour's reply and so was Karmsi and i. We all didn't expect to hear that from her. Laughing and giggling like nothing had gone wrong.
The past had been buried. "As much as i hate to share our pizza , i will go get it from the counter now. It should be ready." Karmsi smiled and crossed her arms "Karmsi Alaribe? " Priscilla asked and Karmsi nodded. "Oh my goodness, the foodie Karmsi ! Melvin's sister??" Karmsi laughed and nodded again. They began to talk and i humbly offered to get the pizza and our drinks to join them at their table while they did the proper greetings and introduction.
  So while everyone in the country was complaining about the 'change' that ruined the economy, my definition of a change was different. Priscilla and Peace were ready to change their impression about me and other ordinary people. Our official enemy status was going to change.
  We were going to be friends and i was going to change too.
Karmsi had ensured that, i would be Abigail and Abigail alone not 'The clumsy clown', not 'the flirt' just myself.  At the counter i picked up the box of Pizza and looked at the cute attendant, he smiled and surreptitiously tossed me a small paper.
"Please call me" it read and his mobile number was written handsomely on the next line. I looked up and he was gone.
This was going to best summer of my life.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode ten

   The look on their faces was priceless. Peace looked like she had been apprehended by a white cop and was scared of being shot for being a black. The recent killings of black people living abroad sure had an effect on everyone.
   Priscilla's eyes held a sparkle so bright,i could tell she bought everything i had said and would do anything to listen to more. I wasn't wrong, i could sense her interest. She liked me.  Favour on the other hand blanketed herself with her phone, avoiding a eye contact. One last selfie before she blasted me? Or was she capturing the first time an ordinary person stood up to her friend?
Priscilla stuttered and stammered as she talked. " You have....Prince is.... Peace didn't...Why should i..." Then she heaved a sigh and forced herself to say the long awaited truth. They were...' kind of' cruel. 'Kind of' tell me why you can't toss your pride aside and do the right thing.
  There was a time i would have done anything to be friends with her but with the bad first impression between us, things was definitely going to be different.
    I hadn't asked Peace to apologise to me before forgiving her because i knew even if my words pierced her heart, her pride wouldn't let her say the apology in words though it was painted on her face like the facial colour paints done for kids on children's day. She was apologetic.
   Who would have thought she would be apologetic?  Sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i had picked my first choice.      Maybe Karmsi and i would have been victorious because Peace's bottle of fanta was already empty and Maybe we still would have lost, they were three and the only person who could fight was Karmsi...definitely not me. I was a Peace Maker... I am still a peace maker even though i have also learnt to fight but only with the greatest weapon the world can ever create, my words.
   Anyway none of that mattered anymore. The past wasn't going to define the present, it was going to reshape our future as friends.

  Favour finally dropped her phone and turned to me with a smirk.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode nine

  I straightened up and looked so deep into her eyes,i could see my reflection. My hair wasn't good looking but that wasn't what mattered.  What mattered was Karmsi was on the edge and i could feel her oozing with anger.
" i am so disappointed in you, Priscy. I expected you to be more cultured and disciplined but all i have seen in you is so much strife and pain because you are threatened by everything and everyone. You have no mind of yours and your friend Peace has been a bad influence..." Peace looked up and made to interrupt me but Priscilla gestured to her to be calm and keep quiet. Karmsi snickered very inaudibly, only i heard her and i felt  successful within me. I wasn't winning neither was i losing. I was making a point and with the look on Priscilla's face, i could tell my words were being nailed to her hypothalamus.
I continued " I believe you are an awesome person and you are just letting the fame you have cloud your judgement about other ordinary people. The rich talk to the rich and the famous to the famous, right? You don't want to be that way. " i paused letting my words sink into her mind before i continued "Everything that has happened in the past has been a misunderstanding. Our first meeting was my bad and i apologise again but i wasn't hitting on Prince. He isn't even worth it. No offence but he doesn't deserve you. I know am not in position to say this but Prince is not the best thing that can happen to you. Peace should have told you what he said." I threw her a questioned look and she pressed her lips together in withdrawal. "Peace, just so you know your behaviour the other day was uncalled for and you did not only embarrass me, you tarnished your own image too. Thank God no one took pictures. You might believe you can beat everyone up because you have the size of a professional bouncer but self control is stronger than a fist even sharper than a doubled edged sword.  I forgive you both and i hope you take my advice." Karmsi scratched my elbow.
She was feeling me. I was on fire.
Maybe self control wasn't the only thing sharper than a spear, words were and they fought for me dutifully.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode eight

  Peace interrupted me with a reply branded with sarcasm and i smiled. What do you do about someone whose lips were full with nothing but sarcasm and found joy in being mean to other people everytime?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
   Everyone has their good side and their flaws , turns out Peace's good side was her flaw. She was funny and it made her sassy. Not my business anyway, i wasn't at the table for her alone and Favour sure knew i wasn't on the table for her either. She seemed engrossed in what she was doing on her phone but i doubted it, the smile on her face was too bright to be from a chat.
  She was listening and she was fighting the urge to laugh out loud.  Priscillia's did the magic and i curled my lips in a large smile then leaned against their table. So i wasn't the only one interested in turning the eatery into a wrestling ring where fists was replaced with bottles of coca-cola and their was no rules,no referee and no...what else rhymes with 'r'? Yes, no reasonable reason for fighting, she wanted it too but i wasn't going to give her what she threatened to start.
  It was a mere threat to get me out of their sight and it wasn't going to work. I wasn't going to be the weak one again. " What are you still waiting for? Here for a little rematch? Is that why you brought 'her'?" Priscilla shot Karmsi a hateful glare and Karmsi stepped forward.
" You should watch your tongue, it's no match for a tooth" she said calmly and i placed my hands on her shoulder. I had come to make peace not rage war and even though Priscilla thought winning was about being cruel,i was going to teach her it was more about being kind.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode seven

  "Hi Priscilla, hi Peace, hi Favour so good to see you here"  i said and they replied with a snort, a scoff and a sluggish 'hi' respectively before pulling out their phones and pretending to be engrossed in a false chat.
  Priscilla didn't join them, she was just as excited to see me as i was to see her but while i was enthused to make peace with the enemy, she was ready to pounce on the flirt her friend had caught with her boyfriend.  She leaned forward ,placed her elbows on the table and her the back of her hands found shelter under her chin,supporting the weight of her curved neck.  She was ready to devour me if i said anything she didn't want to hear and maybe anything she was sure i'd say.  Ceteri Paribus , my every action was equal in her sight. No 'Yes', no 'No' amd my version didn't count whatever Peace told her had sank into her ears and my part of the story...i didn't even have a part in their story. I was just one short clumsy girl ruining everything.
  Her question almost swept me off my feet and i saw Peace carve her brow and Favour twitch her lips. Truth be told i was being a fool for kindness sake. Why didn't i just stay back and enjoy my pizza with Karmsi instead of walking over to pull hell's tail?
Anger replaced the flow of blood in my arteries and i felt my heartbeat increase. Again Karmsi's words swept in my heart... "Take a chill pill..." and i tuned her in. If i wanted to go pass the confrontation, i had to be calm,be reasonable and matured.  I heaved a sigh and bit my tongue, ready to explain what i was standing at her front for.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode six

As we stood up, i felt my self get fueled  with courage and determination. Courage to say the many things that i had in my mind and the determination to say it without bluffing or breaking into tears in the middle.
  I still had to help Priscilla boost her self esteem. It was bad enough that she wanted Prince because he was cute ,presentable and she was blindly in love with him but things could get really worse. Recalling the twitching of Prince's lips when Peace asked why he kept cheating around, it was obvious she wasn't getting down with  him and in this f**ked up twenty first century, it had become the very first objective of dating.
She was in danger even though no one was going to shoot or kidnap her. She could be manipulated into giving out her body with intent to express her love for him or worse still, forced into giving it against her will. Rape was the last thing i wanted to think of as i walked towards her seat.

  Few steps away from them, i felt my fingers go very cold. A sign of my nervousness. I thought i was the only one with the second thought but Karmsi took my hands in hers and i knew i wasn't alone.
They looked up and  began to whisper into each other ears. Peace to Priscilla then Priscilla to Favour. I couldn't hear what they said but it had an effect on me. I soon began to wish i was the girl on lemon,perched on a high chair, having a nice time on my own with no worries,no pain , no need to make a confrontation her and when i looked at Peace, i wanted to go for my first irrational choice.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode five

I could tell they were celebrating something and unlike me they knew what it was. Priscilla,Peace and Favour. The amazing instagram trio but unfortunately i didn't feel the same enthusiasm i had felt the first time i saw Priscilla even though it was my first time seeing Favour. They were more like humans to me than gods as i seemed to have mistaken them for at the very beginning.
   The attendant walked pass our table and even though i felt him staring at me,i didn't spare him a glance. My vision was glued to  the girls. Karmsi was complaining about the pizza taking forever to be done even though it was hardly three minutes since we sat down but i paid little attention to her as i fought within myself,the choices i had to make.
    I could walk over to the table,turn over their bottle of coke over their heads and run away from the eatery. It was the perfect place for my imagination because they wouldn't want to soil their image by running after me. If they dared , Linda Ikeji would have it boldly written on her blog "Priscilla Ojo, daughter of nollywood's best Iyabo Ojo in mortal combat with another minor" and as expected other blogs would jump into their sites and reframe the headline as if they were there. There would be pictures and if my face was caught on the camera, i would not only be popular , i would be a topic of mass humiliation.
  It was a bad choice. It was the devil in me speaking and i hurriedly banded it by the holy spirit. If i wanted to be of help to her,i had to set a good example. Show a level of maturity, step up my game and stop being a pathetic loser. Like Karmsi had said. "don't let your past define your present emotions" and judgement. The past was were it was and it was not too late to start over.
" are you thinking about them again?" she asked snapping me out of my thoughts and i nodded before pointing towards the seat occupied by the 'them' i was thinking of.
  She turned and saw them. It was her first time seeing them but she didn't even flinch or look twice. People sure had different ways of reacting to celebrities and hers was very reasonable.  I like the way she didn't ask what i wanted to say because i had no idea what i would say.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode four

  Even though i felt the arms of shame embrace me as i recalled how i slipped and spilled my bottle of coke on Priscillia and how the same liquid flowed down my hair , entering my nose, crossing to the tip of my nose and soaking my cloth even to my bra as Peace wickedly drenched me, i didn't leave the counter without another bottle of the drink.
  When you love something or even someone, you never forfeit them for the world despite their flaws and imperfections. Besides a mere bottle of coke couldn't be the cause of the misfortune and mistakes that happened in the past weeks. Don't be ridiculous, there was nothing supernatural about everything.
Maybe except, Peace's ridiculous fight for no reason.
   Karmsi sensed the sudden change in my mood and didn't need to ask what was bothering me. She knew my fears. She had asked me if i really wanted us to go out and i had told her it was fine. She sighed, took my hands in hers when we sat and began to talk.
".... don't let the past define your present emotions"
The cute attendant passed us and our eyes met. He grinned and i frowned then looked away.
" i think that guy has been staring at me weirdly...maybe he was there, maybe he remembers" karmsi laughed and told me i was being paranoid.
"you need to take a chill pill. Guy sure has good eyes" She winked and as i smiled my eyes wandered off to the attendants direction . He was talking to some customers at the other end. The part of the eatery with a sofa and the air conditioner was just above them. What was wrong with people and air conditioners?  I wanted to see the faces of the girls that seemed to also have the same relationship Prince and Karmsi had with air conditioners but the attendant obstructed my view.
I shifted my head to the right and left searching for a comfortable view but the attendant looked back and our eyes met again. He smiled and walked away, a barrier between me and the view i had wanted to see again for the pastweeks.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five.
Episode three.

   The coolness of the air conditioned room behind the door blasted against our skins as we pushed the glass doors open. I don't know if the man who stood there was the security man but he sure didn't seem interested in opening the door for us.
Karmsi had no trouble opening the door,she had the muscle for it but i struggled with the knob and pretended i had a masters degree at pushing big and strong doors.  My facade worked, i finally opened the door and joined  Karmsi by her side. I saw her inhale deeply and i smiled.  Long before Karmsi and i became best of friends i wondered if she ever stopped eating and the first time she slept over in my house, i couldn't sleep. I feared she would eat me up before any one else woke up. She wasn't a vampire or a zombie, she was a foodie and still is .  Sharing a box of pizza between the two of us was like giving free food to bergers on christmas day. Karmsi was excited even though she acted like she wasnt. Definitely scared of being teased for her food consuming addiction. No wonder she had that stomach! Large enough to swallow another Jonah.
We walked over to the counter and ordered Karmsi's favourite: barbeque chicken . The cute male attendant told us to take our seats and wait to be called on then he flashed us a smile that made me want to stand at the counter instead but Karmsi pointed to an empty space very close to the air conditioner and it reminded me of the space in Chicken republic.
" lets take a seat over there" she said
Such déjà vu ! What else was going to be a coincidence? A cold bottle of coke?  The bottle of coke i always take before every scene of another Abigail,the clumsy clown episode?
Just then Karmsi turned to the attendant.
"Can i get two bottles of coke for my coke loving bestfriend and i?"

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode two

   To be honest, i had been hiding. Two days after the incident at Chicken republic, my mum sent me to buy her a bucket of chicken for some distant cousins who came to spend the summer holidays in Lagos.  I had never met them before and even if my mum thought they were sweet and respectful i hated them immediately she sent me that errand.  There was no way i could go back to the same place i had been humiliated only two days after. My wounds weren't healed and i could bet the floor wasn't dry of the coke i was bathed with.

I had already narrated in full details the date to Karmsi and she was sorry for me. She was very disappointed in Prince even more than i was and the look on her face when i told her what Peace did to me was enough to give Peace a stomach ache wherever she was at that time. I told her everything was fine and i was going to fix it however i could because i wanted her to feel better. She crucified herself for the ideas she out in my head and apologised for making me go but i explained she was wrong.
If she hadn't teased me,i still would have gone on the date. I already had the seedling of a crush in me and all she did was help water it.  Nothing seemed to make her feel better for her mistake and she felt indebted to me. It was for the greater good eventually, she came to my rescue and helped get the chicken from the eatery.  I avoided that eatery, that route and every road that reminded me of that day like a plague. It almost never happened but i was growing old in the house and i soon began to smell like kitchen utensils. I did have fun with my best friend in the house but she always wanted us to go out and it seemed like i was a self centered constraint.  The holidays was going to be over and everyone would go back to their normal lives, i didn't want to be the reason for the failure of the fun season so i decided to go out again. To give Karmsi a treat and celebrate myself.
Even though i wasn't quite sure what i was celebrating.

DEAR DIARY

Scene five
Episode one

The rest of my summer didn't come with more episodes and drama. I had gone to spend a week with Karmsi and was glad i didn't have to stay in my estate and risk seeing Prince. It was bad enough that he changed his dp and was online twelve hours a day but still didn't message me not that i was stalking him . It just hurt that he didn't bother to look back, to pick up the pieces and prove me wrong. I wished he could say something...anything to make me believe he wasn't what i concluded about him but for weeks there was nothing. Just a lonely me waiting for a miracle .  I soon concluded there wasn't going to be any intervention and admitted to myself that Prince had abandoned me. Of course, it cheapened me and i was determined to save Priscillia from the same feeling: the depression and heartbreak. As a beautiful girl, every guy would definitely want her and as a celebrity, she could have anything she wants. So why did she think Prince was the best that could ever happen to her?  Purity of the heart and care for my neighbour has always been one of my core values and i wasn't going to sit back and watch her mess her self up because she didn't believe in herself as much as i believed in her. I was determined to help her and the numerous messages i dropped in her DM didn't seem to catch her attention. She never read any. So much for having that number of fans!

Again i picked up that imaginary wand that made my first wish come true: The wish to meet her in the first place. I wished for a second meeting and a third chance to perfectly sail on the boat of friendship i intended to build. This time i had a sweet feeling in my guts. The custodians of fate arranged the cards.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode thirteen

Again, i felt my legs go weak and i slid to the ground for comfort. I picked up the face towel , dabbed it on my face and gently squeezed the liquid off my hair. The idea was to look fresh again and believe in my mind that non of it happened .  For a moment after they left, people hung around and stared as expected but never came near. I shamefully glimpsed into the eatery i had walked out from after a glorious meal of friend chicken and saw the attendants staring at me,shaking their heads and making those gestures done only by Ibadan gossips. No offence but they do it better. It's their number one talent.  But i looked around me almost a second after and everyone was back to their normal activity even I began to doubt any of the noise and act of hooliganism ever happened . It did though, if Prince's abandoned face towel wasn't enough evidence of existence, the brownish yellow stain on my tank top was a clear reminder of the short minutes of bullying i had been subjected to.
  I stood up, buttoned my shirt and picked up my face cap. Karmsi had to know this one. She had sweet talked me into it and even helped me pick up the right outfit for the date that turned out to be a total disaster and the best experience for a write up on ' The day i would never forget' . If she hadn't teased me about how Prince was sweet, charming and how he was the perfect match in her 'unlike-terms-attract' relationship chart  then non of this would have happened. I wasn't wrong to keep my infatuation away from her. I just didn't defend my belief.
  Now i know i wasn't wrong. I just didn't listen to my inner mind, something my Pastor refers to as the holyspirit. He sure warned me but i was blinded by the movie i was acting in my head. If only i hadn't been so stupid.  Its never too late to have a do over. Peace was a bully and she had fun beating people up.
   Prince was a flirt and he wasn't sorry. Dude didn't even care about being ditched by Priscillia which means she was the one holding tight.
It all made sense, she needed someone to fix up her self esteem. A girl like her deserved someone better than him.
  Who else could teach her about self esteem but a bull in a china shop?
☺

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode twelve

   Thinking about it now i think it would have been less painful for me if it were Priscilla who did the torture. It was her boyfriend and her battle . It totally had nothing  to do with Peace. Plus, if it was Priscilla then i think i would have been able to defend myself...maybe break her bones and help her remove both of her upper incisors. Oh well, i was humiliated.  News flash, Prince had been seen with too many girls in that month and they were just waiting for a day to catch one of them. Unfortunately for me, my innocent self became the scape goat.
While i moved away from them trying to gain my sigh and my self esteem, Peace kept raining insults on him. Telling him about the shame he brought upon them and their Instagram personality. " What do you want in them that is not in Priscilla?" Prince grinned and licked his lips making it clear what his reply would be if he said it in words. Peace heaved a sigh and made a face of disgust before adjusting her cloth and her hair. "I don't even know what Priscilla sees in you. You are not even worth fighting for! Get that into your head! We'll see what she has to say about you when i tell her what you just said!" Peace said wagging her index finger around his face. He kept smiling as he threw me his face towel and i watched the two of them walk away in opposite direction leaving me behind to treat my own wound.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four.
Episode eleven.

  Remember what i said the day Priscillia slapped me? It's better you don't remember i called it the worst day of my life because this day broke the record when she opened the bottle with just one flip of her fingers around the cover and turned it upside down.
  It happened before i could push her away,tear her to shreds or even say Jack Robinson. I shut my eyes hoping i would open them  to find out i had been in a terrible nightmare but when i opened them, the cold liquid flowed down my face and hair soaking my cloth. A droplet dripped into my eyes and it hurt so bad i thought i would go blind. I rubbed with my fingers,rubbed and rubbed but it only hurt more.
   She turned the bottle over till every last drop was wasted on me and my cloth was soaked enough to wipe a car without needing to dip in more water. I gasped for breath and covered my face with my hands.
   To be honest, the liquid was cool against my skin and the heat from the sun but it was coloured and it was in public.
   People were staring but non came closer to stop her from being a jerk. It was Lagos, the city where everyone minded their own business yet claimed to be more religious than other western states in the country. No one cared to be a 'brother's keeper' not even Prince.
  During my torture , i heard him try to stop Peace from hurting me further but a real man would have dragged her away, picked up my face cap ,take the Coca-Cola shower for me even take a bullet for me if she had one to empty into my chest. But he stood there, a weak and empty barrel without even a loud noise.
  I was highly disappointed in him yet not as much as i was in Peace but i was more disappointed in myself for being in such situation in the first place.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four.
Episode ten.

   My ridiculous look infuriated her more. I could feel her anger boil to a hundred degrees . I wasn't giving her the fun she derived from watching me fight back, defend myself ,try to prove her wrong of the accusation she brought before me while she shushed me by wiping the cap against my face while cursing with profanities.
  She flung my cap away with a force that sent waves of fright through my spine and stood before me like a bull in a rodeo game. I gripped Prince's hand involuntarily for help. This time it was normal not the fantasy i used to make up in my head. He didn't have to be the knight in shiny armour,he was just the nearest male i could look up to for help.  He had been standing the whole time like he was in his Father's sitting room watching his favourite soap opera or an episode of Teenage Multan Ninja Turtle. He sure found everything intriguing until i touched him and even when he spoke it sounded very weak anyone would hear that it was laced with cowardice.  I hid behind him wanting him to fulfil the promises he made during lunch, that he would never be a coward and let something like the last incident happen again. He was right,this was different from the last incident, this was worse.
  " Zara, wh- what's all this? " he said again and she gave him that stern look that haunted me for several days after. I didn't blame him for stepping away but my alter ego did. He was weak,no doubt. He couldn't even fight for himself.  How could he be so scared of her? Who was she anyway? And why did i have to be the weak protagonist in this teens drama we were acting?  I took a deep breath determined to change the writer's script. I lifted up my bottle of coke and held it like a weapon threatening to hit her if she didn't back off but she wasn't frightened.
  She snatched the bottle from me but i held on tightly,struggling with both hands while she handled it with just one.  I didn't struggle for long, she successfully snatched the bottle and stretched to her full length wearing a smirk of victory.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode nine

Awaiting the blow that would knock me out like 9/11 ,i shut my eyes tightly and said a little prayer. Prayed that i come as a boy in my second life so i can hurt her back, maybe date her daughter ,get her pregnant and flee. If i couldn't fight now, it didn't mean i shouldn't be able to do so another time unless i came back to the world as a chicken or not even return at all. 
  Still stuck in my stupid imaginative revenge, the storming Peace yanked off my cap from my head calling me different names.
  "Boo snatcher!"
She yelled wiping me with the cap while i wimped innocently. I didn't even know such phrase existed. Boo snatcher? What else would this people invent... Bae sharer, Boo distributor, Baby Manufacturer?  I stopped fighting back, pressed my lips and watched her acting stupid before me. Why was she cruel for no reason? Why did she hate me that much?
  As expected ,my mind couldn't come up with a tangible reason to explain the obscurity of her actions and it made me sick.  She didn't even give me audience. She didn't allow me explain to her that all i had in the past was mere infatuation and i only just realised Prince was a pile of trash arranged in a beautiful pattern. She didn't allow me explain that i was just about to break up with him even before the relationship started. 
  She held the microphone tight and didn't share...maybe because it had been implanted in her throat and she kept  screaming
"Boo Snatcher"

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode nine.

Awaiting the blow that would knock me out like 9/11 ,i shut my eyes tightly and said a little prayer. Prayed that i come as a boy in my second life so i can hurt her back, maybe date her daughter ,get her pregnant and flee. If i couldn't fight now, it didn't mean i shouldn't be able to do so another time unless i came back to the world as a chicken or not even return at all.  Still stuck in my stupid imaginative revenge, the storming Peace yanked off my cap from my head calling me different names. "Boo snatcher!" She yelled wiping me with the cap while i wimped innocently. I didn't even know such phrase existed. Boo snatcher? What else would this people invent... Bae sharer, Boo distributor, Baby Manufacturer?  I stopped fighting back, pressed my lips and watched her acting stupid before me. Why was she cruel for no reason? Why did she hate me that much? As expected ,my mind couldn't come up with a tangible reason to explain the obscurity of her actions and it made me sick.  She didn't even give me audience. She didn't allow me explain to her that all i had in the past was mere infatuation and i only just realised Prince was a pile of trash arranged in a beautiful pattern. She didn't allow me explain that i was just about to break up with him even before the relationship started.  She held the microphone tight and didn't share...maybe because it had been implanted her throat as she kept screaming "Boo Snatcher".

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode eight

Prince turned around to behold the beholder and she eyed him from head to toe before returning her evil smirk at me.  I didn't need  a soothsayer to tell me i was in a deep dilemma neither did i need a prophet to foretell the events of the minutes to come.  The kind of soup in was one of its kind made out of sheer cruelty and the hatred  a total stranger developed for another total stranger .  This was madness but did i dare to say so?  Last time i checked my weight i was 47.8kg, i had kept on doing my online video work out so if my guess was accurate, my weight had to have reduced drastically...say 46.5kg. I was nothing close to obvious Peace Zara 80-90 kill-me-now  kilogram. One of her fist against my face and i wouldn't wake up to watch ' Good Morning Africa' the next day...maybe never even wake up until after summer or never even wake up ever again.  Non was a better choice and fleeing was impossible.  My feet was rooted to the ground and for a moment i felt my bladder lose a drop of fluid and i hurriedly pressed my knees together. It wasn't because the coke in my hand was the second that day...it was fear and it made me almost humiliate myself.  She twisted her mouth in that 'you are dead today'  twist and i had a hard time closing mine which had been ajar the whole time. They say one day you'll live this world behind so maybe it was finally my time to die if not in spirit but in dignity,self respect and in everything  i thought i had built for myself.  I heaved a sigh of relief as she stormed towards me with her fist clenched and a snort across her face.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode seven

Define a good best friend.
In the past a good best friend could be defined as someone who you value more than your other friends, someone you have fun with, whom you trust and confide in. The first person you call when you need to share something personal, funny or a good news.  Social media friendship goals definitely confused the real life friendship requirement system. There are posts like "if you hurt my best friend get ready for war" or " lay a finger on my bestie and lose your arm" and many people now believe the best way to prove their love for their bestie is to beat anyone who stands up to them, innocent or not.  I saw her first and squinted to be sure it was really her. Prince didn't have a eye behind his back to see the stern looking agent of devil walking towards us with so much anger oozing out of her nostrils as her eyebrow carved into a perfect arch of anger. Anyone would imagine it was her boyfriend who stood before me still asking if i was okay as i stood like a statue, scared to move an inch not knowing what she would do to me,unable to talk as fear strangled me.  On instagram i have seen funny memes about two friends and i understood the kind of web i was entwined in. Behind every slim girl there was a thick...sorry i mean very thick and huge friend whose always got her back and because mine wasn't close by, i was meat.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode six

I felt stupid.
I had painted a fantasy in my head,thinking life was Cinderella's story and Prince was going to pick me over all the Bellas at the ball. I had seen him with Priscillia the first time. Who was i to think i could win him away from her?
My smile faded and i stood in front of him, a lifeless form wanting to go home to the comfort of my bed where i could yell my pains away into the stuffed pillow and baptise myself in the pool of my own tears. He stopped talking and looked at me with with false concern, as if he cared about my feelings, as if he gave a damn about the cause of my sudden mood swing . " Are you okay? " i wanted to reply him with the many things i had in mind to say but non  seemed relevant. He hadn't completed his scheme. He hadn't asked me out and have me say a big hearty 'yes' then broadcast to his friends that he just caught another cute fish in his net and she was throwing himself at him like ping pong. Cursed be F**k boys.
He hadn't used me,taken everything God gave me to offer my husband then fight with me over the silliest thing. Maybe complain about my clumsiness like that wasn't the thing that brought us together. I repeat cursed be f**k boys  All glory to God for helping me dodge a speed bullet! He had saved me from the temptation and  wished he could deliver me of all evil. Like the one that stood a few feet away , watching her next victim , devising a new method of destruction .

DEAR DIARY

Scene four.
Episode five.

  I always thought the saying 'the walls have ears' was a mere example of the figure of speech- personification and it had nothing to do with me outside the four walls of English class but the walls didn't just have ears. it had  two eyes, it held a phone to its ears obviously making a phone call and it had big butt...very big butt,i didn't dare to compare mine with it.  Maybe because i wasn't aware of her presence. I was still deep in thoughts trying to prove myself wrong, telling myself i was only being paranoid and Prince was sweet,charming and innocent of my accusation even though he was unaware of the conclusions i had made about him in my head.  I wanted to believe his smile was genuine and that he was everything i had seen but everything i had ignored clouded my thoughts and my vision.
Prince est un vrai dragueur. Prince was a real flirt. It was there. Loud and clear whether i told myself in english or in french. He was the devil,coming to kill, to steal and to destroy yet he looked like the angel, sweet, apologetic and funny. He was too good to be true and yes, he wasn't.
We didn't have chemistry, we had catastrophe. He was a predator and i was the prey. He was a player and i was played

DEAR DIARY

Scene four.
Episode five.

  I always thought the saying 'the walls have ears' was a mere example of the figure of speech- personification and it had nothing to do with me outside the four walls of English class but the walls didn't just have ears. it had  two eyes, it held a phone to its ears obviously making a phone call and it had big butt...very big butt,i didn't dare to compare mine with it.  Maybe because i wasn't aware of her presence. I was still deep in thoughts trying to prove myself wrong, telling myself i was only being paranoid and Prince was sweet,charming and innocent of my accusation even though he was unaware of the conclusions i had made about him in my head.  I wanted to believe his smile was genuine and that he was everything i had seen but everything i had ignored clouded my thoughts and my vision.
Prince est un vrai dragueur. Prince was a real flirt. It was there. Loud and clear whether i told myself in english or in french. He was the devil,coming to kill, to steal and to destroy yet he looked like the angel, sweet, apologetic and funny. He was too good to be true and yes, he wasn't.
We didn't have chemistry, we had catastrophe. He was a predator and i was the prey. He was a player and i was played

DEAR DIARY

Scene four.
Episode four.

  All my life since puberty, i have fantasized about my 'Mr right' . He had to be tall...not tall so that i look like Tyrion Lannister beside The Mountain in game of thrones or one of the seven dwarfs beside the Prince in the folktale 'Snow White' but reasonably big enough to fight for me when i get bullied especially by two big girls who i mistakenly spill coke on.
He had to be fun to be with just so when we hang out with friends,it wouldn't be like we were at the hospital with sympathizers yet not too funny that i would choke on my food then die.      My soulmate had to like me for me not what i had to give the same way i would like him for what he is and not what i would take.  His compliment sank into my subconsciousness and it replayed in my mind over and over again. I stood in awe  watching him. He was kidding ,something about how big my ass was for my height and something about him wanting to spend more time with me another time but i had a hard time figuring each word out.
   My fingers were shaking in fury and i thought i would hit him on the face. I was more angry at myself for being a fool all week. To think i even took Karmsi's teases seriously. I was right to say Prince wasn't type even though i wasn't sure then.
   It is the truth now. Prince wasn't my type. Prince wasn't my Mr Right. Prince wasn't my soul mate.
Prince was a flirt and nature played its game.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four.
Episode three.

The silence lingered on but i knew he could hear my every thought. With every bite on my chicken,he grinned and threw me that look of admiration that made me almost bite off my own tongue. " see the way you are tearing the chicken, that chicken had a future. Who knows maybe he could have been the best Surgeon in the Aves kingdom " His joke almost made me choke and i feared i would make a total mess of myself but for the bottle of coke beside which i sipped to clear my throat. Give him the credit ,he was handsome and he was  funny. He was the total package.
We walked out of the eatery together and the heat struck our skin like evil arrows. I paused, scared to take another step forward for fear of being sunburned. It was the direct opposite of the seat in the eatery and i was glad i still had my cold half full bottle of coke with me. Prince hadn't taken his from the table ,obviously a way to impress me that he didn't care about a 'half empty' drink. Say he was forming for me but if you were in his shoes,i bet you would definitely do the same.  Being the best chicken in the world was a compliment and when he said it, it made me feel good about my body and myself but it also made one thing clear.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four
Episode two
  
    You remember back in nursery school when we had a topic called ' Fill in the gap' ? I was very good at it even till senior school when it became lexis and structure. Now i needed that acquired knowledge to close up the space between Prince and i without moving away from my seat.  It was an impossible possibility and the only way i could destroy the bridge between us and put an end to the jokes was to make him guilty for the other day. It was a trick i had played on other people to draw them into a serious conversation and it was working.  I was over the pain from that day so bringing it back didn't make me feel like a lesser person but Prince still had the hang of it. He kept apologising and promising to make it up to me if i wasn't satisfied with the day's treat. If only he knew a bottle of coke with him even in a cheap restaurant was enough to purge him of all his sins.  I pressed my lips together in that smile that always made my mum give me whatever i ask for,that smile that made me look very adorable and i knew was working its magic on my current target.  He smiled back, tilted his head to the side and heaved a sigh. I could tell i was already building a castle as big as the tower of babel in his heart and God didn't seem to disagree with that idea. He was with me.
Gracious Lord.

DEAR DIARY

Scene four.
Episode one.
 
   I picked the date and the place. It was my favourite eatery and the closest to my street so i didn't have to worry about traffic and transport.
I put everything on outfit. My favourite blue jean, my sleek lilac tank top, a cool shirt and my everyday face cap. It was too simple for a first date but it was summer and it protected me from the unforgiving heat from the blistering of the rays of sweltering sun. It was comfortable and didn't make my mum suspect i was going on a date.
African parents don't like the idea of teenage dating but like the saying "life starts when you are a teen" i was ready to live and not just exist.  Coincidentally, Prince and i wore similar outfit except his inner was a white round neck, his shirt was brighter than mine and he wore sneakers. Unlike me, i had worn my heeled sandals to elevate my height a bit. No one likes a 'short rat' for a date and i was willing to do everything to impress him.  I ordered for chicken and chips and of course a bottle of coke to cool with. Prince said he wasn't hungry so he took only a bottle of fanta.
I wanted us to sit on the sofas at the corners of the room where we could sit next to each other and maybe touch each other's hand every time 'accidentally'. A little intimacy on a first wasn't so much of a big deal.  But Prince preferred the spot directly in  front of the Air conditioner. The exact spot my friend Labake and Esther had picked the previous year when celebrating our success in an impromptu speech i competed in.
The exact spot that prohibited ' accidental touches'

The spot that caused our conversation to be clean, clear and hilarious.
If only we weren't three feet apart. 😢

DEAR DIARY

Scene three
Episode 1

Dear diary,
This was the first the first day of summer and like every other summer, it was the season of fun and relaxation.  Unlike foreign countries with different other seasons : winter,spring and autumn, Nigeria seems to be led by the holy spirit. It rains when it wishes and could be hot enough to roast a plantain a minute after. Often times i have been beaten by the rain in Ikeja only to get to Maryland and find dry land .

God was indeed awesome.  The general idea of an awesome summer is throwing pool parties and picnics at the beach, putting on shorts and spaghetti armed singlets with sun glasses but i was aquaphobic and thalassophobic : big body of water? Kindly shoot me in the head instead.  Karmsi had once made fun of me saying i am a run-away mermaid and that's why i have the fear of water.
The things Karmsi says.

My idea of a perfect summer was spending it with someone special someplace very comfortable. That 'someone' being my bestfriend and that 'someplace' being my house.
Like the saying there's never a place like home.

DEAR DIARY

Scene two.

Episode six.

  I looked at her and thanked God for giving me such a beautiful and intelligent person as a  best friend.

  Karmsi has a heart of gold.  If I was Barbie, she was definitely going to be my Teresa. She was Bae. 

   And she sounded like my mum and when I told her, her reply cracked me up I wanted pee on my body.
   She had lifted the 350kilogram weight in my mind and the blender funk that had clogged my heart.
  I was finally going to be fine.
All thanks to Karmsi.

DEAR DIARY

I felt better.
   Life is good when you have a best friend that understands you and stands by you through thick and thin. " you don't have to feel bad about anything, this is one of those awkward stories that makes life a story.  I mean this is such a story line for a secondary school drama! "
  I smiled at her statement.
It was all an accident and like every other accident it was an inevitable, unplanned and uncontrollable occurrence . It was a normal thing to slip.
  It was a normal thing to spill my drink on a person.  It was also a normal thing to apologize for your mistakes which was what I planned to do when next I meet Priscilla.
If I ever do again.

DEAR DIARY

I felt guilty.
I was feeling bad and because I couldn't pretend to be fine I was making Karmsi say too much to make me feel better.
  She wasn't one to believe anything she heard from people.  People say things they don't know about other people to make themselves feel better or to put down another person's ego.  It was life.
  Many times I have been told different things about Priscilla by people who met her only once or who attended the same secondary school with her. Most of them had jumped into conclusion that she is proud but I never supported anything anyone of them said and I knew Karmsi didn't too.
  She was only trying to make me feel better and she was succeeding.

DEAR DIARY

She sat beside me and the mattress sank in like my heart did when she began to talk.  Don't get me wrong she didn't have bad breathe neither did her armpit smell but she called me clumsy and it sawed my heart into two.
The truth can never change from what it really is... Bitter even than the taste of your mouth when you drink water after eating a pineapple.  I frowned and listened on never missing a word obviously looking for something to take up and cause a fight but there was nothing. She was neutral,  didn't take my side because she held the title 'bestie' neither did she think Priscilla was right to slap me yet she didn't condemn her for her actions. "she 'was' a brat to slap you" karmsi has stressed the word 'was' so it didn't mean Priscilla is always a brat but she 'was' because she was angry.
It made sense.  It made me understand I wasn't the one who had to apologize neither was it Priscilla but the two of us.

DEAR DIARY

DEAR DIARY

I felt ridiculed.
I had kept it to my self and I wished I had let it remain that way.  Locked and sealed within me.  This wasn't the first time Karmsi would make fun of me and I would totally laugh at her if I was in her shoes. 
  It was quite funny and normal but I wasn't normal and I didn't want it to be funny.  I shot her that look that always told her I wasn't in for jokes and I could break into tears if she didn't stop laughing. 
  She understood the message I had passed and her laughter reduced to a quiet snicker and she planted that i-am-just-kidding smirk on her face.
She began to walk towards me purposefully and I got myself ready for the motivational speech she was going to lay on me.
What are friends for?

DEAR DIARY

DEAR DIARY

Scene Two.

  I know I promised not to share my worst experience with anybody but I had to break vow.
I could hardly bare the pain in my heart which wasn't totally from the experience but the itch in my guts to tell someone yet not anyone. I didn't want anyone to laugh at me yet I couldn't keep it a secret.
  Meet Karmsi.  She is not anyone. She is my bestfriend and like every best friend, she was always there for me when i needed her except that she could be very annoying sometimes. We never kept a secret from each other and I began to feel like I was breaking the trust between us by keeping it away from her so when she came to my house to pay me a friendly visit, I decided it was finally time to let the cat out of the bag .
  Her reaction was unexpected and unpredictable. I had imagined she would get angry at me for telling her a week after instead of a second after like we always did.
  But the moment I completed the story about my ordeal , she burst into a loud dramatic laughter that filled my room bouncing back in an hilarious echo.
  Anyone else would laugh and make fun of me but Karmsi wasn't anyone else... Or was she?

DEAR DIARY

  Maybe I was wrong and he wasn't at fault.
He threw me a pitiful look and shook his head in disapproval of his girlfriend's irrational behaviour or was his look that of guilt and the shaking of his head in disapproval of my clumsy and lousy behavior?
   I wanted it to be the earlier because the  second hypothesis wasn't in my favor and it made me want to drown myself with the remaining content in my bottle of coke which was now emptying itself unto the tarred estate ground. 
   He turned and walked off with them and I wished he had walked over to me instead.
To pick me up from the floor where I sat and tell me "it's okay, mi lady" and listen to my hearty laugh as I reply "thanks sire" and maybe end my imagined fairy tale with a kiss on the lips while my two step sisters stand afar watching with hatred oozing out of their sweat pores.
But this was real life...my life.
   I was on the floor and I could be mistaken for a mad woman if I stayed there for long.
I pulled myself up along with what was left of my dignity.
I wouldn't tell anyone about the worst day of my life.

DEAR DIARY

Is there a nerve connecting the face and the leg?  Or was I just so weak from the many feelings and thoughts going through my head?
The air was tense and non of us made any sound. I had stopped trying to talk because there was no point.  Anything I said would be useless,  not that I couldn't speak fluent English but any word I utter would seem like they came from a spoilt radio and I feared I would break down in the tears that were already gathering behind my eyes.  Why was I such an emotional person?  I slipped to the pavement and sat there still holding my face, still in shock and dismay as I watched walk away commenting on the scene as if I was at fault.
Wait a second,  who was at fault?
It had to be the coke,  if it hadn't spilled ,the girls wouldn't have been angry but I would still be a laughing stock.
It had to be Prince, if he wasn't so cute I wouldn't have been distracted nor slip in the first place.

DEAR DIARY

    "say Ha" is a normal expression used by nursing mothers when they want their kids to open their mouth and take a spoonful of cereal or whatever food it was they had in the plate but in my case, I wasn't begged to leave my mouth ajar in bewilderment and shock as the slap landed heavily against my cheeks.
  The slap was so hard I thought the flesh on my cheeks had stuck to her palms. I quickly placed mine against my face and heaved a sigh of relief.
   First Priscilla then Peace then Prince and it was finally my turn to leave my mouth ajar in disbelief. I totally didn't see the slap coming.  It was a quick flash of her palms and a sound like someone trying to kill a giant mosquito feasting on human skin with intent to save the world from Malaria not a angry slap from spilling coke...as bad as it was it was just coke and it was totally wrong of her to have given me that.  If only I could find the words to confront and correct her.
I stood searching for the right words to explain the misunderstanding and the shocking awkward moment but the words wouldn't come.
They stared at me with crossed brows and I stared back with bulgy eyebags.